The Dichotomy of Entertaining

‘Now’ seems never the time to be discussing these things - but here I am.

We’ve got this ‘event’ pending and, as usual, I am of two (or is it three - or four) minds about it; I want it to happen - and I dread its happening.

Don’t ask why - I don’t know myself.

All I know is that it presents a problem.

Why do I think it ‘presents a problem’?

Because I become obsessed about its success, how said success will be accomplished, and the (imaginary) fact that I am not up to the task.

Doesn’t that say “PROBLEM!”, to you?

Of course, the world is constantly telescoping in and out, micro/macro-wise and things that may appear minor and insignificant to one, may be quite the opposite and impossible to handle to the other - and to complicate things - ‘one’ and the ‘other’ may reside within the confines of one, singular, bones & flesh individual.

All of this ridiculousness is to say that I am of two minds about this rapidly approaching fete.

On the one hand, I am overjoyed to be entertaining for, who doesn’t enjoy a dinner party with fabulous friends?

On the other hand - these things drive me to a state of utter distraction when it comes to menu planning - not to mention the follow-through of such plans.

I think the real problem lies not so much in the entertaining or menu planning but rather in the state of disarray our collective sense of etiquette, or lack thereof, on the part of the guest has created a culinary monster; one that demands political correctness on every front - making the task of simply preparing a meal for a gathering of friends a challenge that could be rivalled only by the Potsdam Conference, so stressful can these things become.

What happened to the simple acceptance of an invitation - and if one truly had a life-threatening allergy to a food group, one could make that known without a great deal of fuss?

Nowadays - people come with laundry lists of things they’d 'prefer' not to be served regardless of whether there may be any eminent danger or threat to life in their consumption - they have simply grown up in a world in which every whim has been indulged - and they think this carries over into social interaction - it drives me crazy.

I have had the unfortunate luck of having, at the same party, the gluten-intolerant, the pescatarian, the vegan, the carnivore, all clamouring for a ‘decent’ meal delivered from my hands.

I am not a restaurant!

I am a man!

A man who would like to entertain but who finds the constraints of the whims of the guests these days, to be quite the impediment to entertaining - it is a huge chore.

Oh, yeah.

Go on.

Laugh.

You know you want to.

You think it’s all a lot of hysterical over-reacting.

But the next time you extend a dinner invitation via the phone, and the recipient asks what the menu is to be before deciding to accept - think carefully about whether you want to have that person as a guest at your table to begin with - after all, there’s more to life than vegetable bouillon.